LLVL Episode 02: Steps

 

The LLVL series is a community reward for helping me reach the lofty goal of $900 for Extra Life 2019. In it, I try to define self-identity through misadventure in The Lord of the Rings Online. I am a long-time critic of fan fiction, so enjoy knowing I am squirming uncomfortably through every paragraph that I write.

The first thing she was aware of was that she no longer felt the prickly, itchy texture of hay and straw. The distinct odor of dog breath accompanied the familiar bark, however, and it compelled her to open her eyes. Instead of the rustic stabling area she had hidden herself in, her view was of a snowy landscape, stone buildings, and a looming edifice at the top of some stairs. Oh, and the dog was staring at her still.

"Good morning, I guess," she sighed to the dog, and was surprised that she could see her breath in the frosty air. A bark and a tail wag answered her as she took in her new surroundings. 

How had she gotten here? Where exactly was here?

Tall evergreens dotted the landscape in front of her, all laden with pristine white snow. She could tell from the stonework buildings that she wasn't in the same place as the butt fountain. 

"Hmm... do you think the robot people here are friendly?" she quietly asked her dog-friend. The customary, abrupt bark and tail-wag was the response, as before. 

Determined to figure out a name for her constant companion, she turned around to decide on a direction to head in. There was no returning to the Butt Fountain from this place, but she could see what appeared to be a central square type of area with a towering statue in the middle of it. Once on the cobblestoned area, however, something grasped her attention entirely.

That mannequin-robot... was their name really... Tindr? 

Trying to hide what she felt was probably a shocked expression on her face that this Medieval MSG Simulator might have a hidden dating app, she turned her attention to the strange structure nearby. It was a pointy stone thing... with a gold-rimmed bird bath in front of it full of water. As she looked at it, she noticed there were words hovering in the air above it just like the little app man she was doing her best to ignore. Reflecting pool? Peering down into it, she almost hoped that maybe that was all she had to do to escape this place, but nothing happened.

Pouting somewhat, she looked up from the Bird Bath (there was no way anything was going to reflect in that pool -- who were they kidding?) and promptly stumbled backwards on the cobblestones. More Mannequins and objects had words floating over them. Maybe if she focused hard enough she could make more sense out of this place! Spying a series of steps leading up to a large building, she began jogging towards it.

That was her first mistake.

Despite having a strange body that wasn't her own, it wasn't any fonder of exercise than her own -- and there were a LOT of steps. Nearly collapsing at the top of the steps, she wondered WHY anyone would have so many. 

It reminded her of the palace in "Howl's Moving Castle," almost. Maybe it was meant as a test here, too?

Once at the top, as she studiously continued ignoring the Mannequins, there was a beautiful door. It was enormous, made of stone like everything else, and was covered in intricately etched mountains, clouds, and stars. She stood close to it and just stared in awe, with Dog-friend watching her stare at it. 

"There's absolutely no way I can open a door this size, made out of stone. Do you have any idea how heavy it must be?" she exclaimed to the tail-wagger. 

Placing a hand on the surface of the stonework, to feel the artwork for herself, she was met with yet another surprise that forced a yelp out of her. The door opened on its own, revealing a shimmery, illusion-y effect in a small entryway. "You've got to be kidding."

BARK.

"Alright, alright... I get it. This is how it operates, I guess?" Squeezing her eyes shut, she walked into the weird glowing effect. The abrupt rush of air and a distinctly different set of noises was the only indication she had that she had moved.

Opening her eyes slowly, she found herself inside an enormous stone hall of some kind. Another large statue was here, and... oh joy... more steps. Steps going down, and then it appeared there were a sprinkling of smaller steps leading back up to the adjoining rooms. What was the point?! Biting back her frustration, though, she made her way into the hall and past the large statue, looking around as she went. As long as she was focusing, she could see names above most of the Mannequins. Some had actual names, while others were... well, it didn't matter.

Wandering through the halls, she didn't see any of the Moving People as she had in the open, sunny town she'd first been in. There was a large room she didn't enter because it was full of hot, fire-filled furnace things and a lot of noise. She supposed they made weapons and things there. (She also hated that you had to walk UP stairs only to find another set going DOWN on the other side and swore off of the room for that reason alone.)

There was a weird guy standing next to a glowy stone box and handles labeled with symbols. He didn't seem to do anything, and even touching the glowing box or the handles didn't seem to accomplish anything. Maybe it was broken?

She even made the (reluctant) effort to climb the steps to see who (she figured) was the Mannequin-in-Charge, a fellow standing at what she assumed was a sort of throne. He stood proudly, despite being shorter than her, with his long white beard tucked into his belt. When she tried speaking to him, all he said in reply was "I do miss the Lonely Mountain, from time to time..."

The Lonely Mountain? Wasn't that the place with the dragon in it in those... oh no. 

It couldn't be. There was no way that China King had sent her to the depths of such nerdiness. She'd had to sit through those long-as-paint-dries movies with her friends Brandon and Kim. Orlando Bloom and Luke Evans had been pretty easy on the eyes, but she wasn't a big fan of the elves and dwarves and orcs thing. 

"Hi there. Can I help you?" came a sweet voice out of nowhere. She was about to look around for the source, but she had this vague mental image of a sort of text conversation in her mind. As she thought it, she could see her own text forming in response.

Eruvanda: Hi there. Can I help you?

Trixandra: I'm not sure. Is this a game?

Is that my name? Trixandra?

Eruvanda: What a strange question! lol  You must be new. I thought as much. You've been wandering around Thorin's Hall for a while now without doing anything.

Trixandra: Thorin's Hall?

Eruvanda: Yes, the dwarf starter area.

Trixandra: Ok... do you know how I get back to the fountain with the bu-- boar pig things?

Eruvanda: Oh, the Boar Fountain in Bree? That's easy. Just visit the Stable-master outside.

Trixandra: That... sounds easy enough. Thank you.

Eruvanda: Eruvanda Eruannariel, at your service! Good luck! 

 

So this was all just a game based on those Hobbit movies? That was some potent MSG, indeed. And she was going to let Brandon and Kim have it the next chance she got. If she got one. First, it seemed that she needed to attempt to play along if this was a game. She sighed thinking about all of those steps between her and where she had been standing outside.

And that's when her view of things changed dramatically.

The light shining down from an opening at the roof of the hall seemed to perfectly illuminate her as she sat astride a horse. The horse was amazing -- covered in overlapping pieces of armor with its own banner flying from an intricate pole connected to the leather saddlework. The horse lowered its head with a snort, clearly interested in getting a move on now that it had a rider. Well, who was she to argue? She had never ridden a horse before, but it seemed she didn't need to worry about that in this questionable beef-and-broccoli game world she had dreamed up.

The horse made travel a LOT faster, and that was a distinct relief. While the stonework of this place -- Thorin's Hall -- was impressive, she was ready to be back outside. Once she made it back to the square with the Bird Bath, she saw down one side lane a dwarf standing next to some horses, and a little picture over his head of a horse. That absolutely had to be the Stable-master Eruvanda had mentioned.

Focusing on the dwarf, one of those weird display panels appeared in the air. The only name in the list that was apparently available for her was a place called Combe, so she chose that. Her horse vanished from beneath her, only to immediately be replaced by a furry brown one with a white mane, and it began cantering off on its own accord. At the front gate of the area, everything went black.

Vision returned as the horse carried her down a slope into a small looking town similar to the first one she'd seen, vanishing from beneath her as she was left next to yet another Stable-master. Reappearing from whatever void had swallowed it, Dog-friend let out a BARK behind her as a reminder that she wasn't alone in this crazy adventure. Frowning to herself, she decided it might be faster and safer to travel on her armored horse and managed to summon it again. Seeing a wooden gate up a slope to her left, she headed in that direction and followed the road. It seemed as good as any other direction to go.

In a matter of moments, she found herself riding through another wooden gate and seeing the word "Archet" in the air. The place had seen better days. All of the buildings were covered in ash and the remnants of what had probably been a large fire. There was a somber feeling in the air despite knowing all of the "people" she was seeing were just robot mannequin beings. 

And then she saw something. It was a man standing by himself and there was a glowing, gold ring hovering above his head. She'd watched Brandon playing games before, and this was clearly a quest-giving character she could speak to. Dropping to the ground from her easily-dismissed horse, she got close enough to speak to the ring-guy and a new kind of display appeared in the air. With it, she heard his voice speaking to her... and asking her to bury some dead bodies. 

"WHAT?!" 

She backed away from the ring-guy, but could see out of the corner of her eye that she now had a quest-task thing reminding her that she was asked to bury some bodies. Turning abruptly to look around the town, she finally saw what she'd overlooked before. In several areas of the cobblestoned town, there were countless plain wooden coffins, closed and probably occupied. Some of the survivors stood and wept perpetually, because that was all they were programmed to do. Realizing that as she thought it, brought a dampness to her own eyes in the strange body she wore. 

What was it like having to cry forever because there was nothing else you could do?

With Dog-friend standing expectantly next to her in his dopey, adoring, tongue-lolling way, she looked back towards the front gate of Archet, through a corridor of ruined buildings that these mannequin beings were planning to rebuild and live in. It reminded her of her own plans -- back before the bad Chinese food, anyway. The new apartment, only a few pieces of furniture, and the hope that he wouldn't find out where she'd moved to. It was bleak, but it was a new beginning and she had intended to make the best of it.

Clenching one hand tightly and nodding to herself, she agreed to that intention once more. "I'll do it," she said solemnly to Dog-friend as he clumsily sat to scratch behind his ear. "I'll try to be a hero in this game my subconscious has created out of beef and broccoli. And when I wake up, I'll feel better about starting that new minimum wage job." Okay, maybe that last part was a lie. Dog-friend wagged his tail.

"And just wait until I get a hold of Brandon and Kim!"

BARK!

To be continued...

This entry featured a cameo from Extra Life donor Elizabeth! If you want your own cameo in a future episode you can find the matching incentive on my Extra Life page where I am raising money for sick kids at Children's National!

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